What does friendship even mean, let alone true friendship?
Over the years I’ve had many friends. Some of them were around for a very short period of time, some on and off and a very few that have been in it for the long haul.
Growing up it was hard for me to find “good girlfriends”. They were either just nice to my face, in it for their own gain of some sort, or some weird, creepy SWF type.
What I’m about to share with you is my experience with friends and what it means to be, or have a true friend.
Let me start with my first friend, ever. We met in 1989. I’ll never forget that day.
She walked into Kindergarten with her fresh perm (yes, her mother gave her a perm for Kindergarten) and her pink and purple outfit. She thought I was cool and I thought she was cooler with her perm! (Not many Kindergartners are allowed to perm their hair). We were instant friends.
Sure we’ve had our ups and downs over the years, but ultimately what matters is we’re still best friends.
I love this girl as if she was my blood sister. (We’re actually closer than my own blood line.)
She’s the type to never leave me hanging. I tell her a problem, she immediately tries to solve it even though sometimes I just want to vent.
She’s so understanding of my flaws and patient as the day is long. I freaking love this girl.
She’s seen me at my best, worst, drunkest, and sickest moments yet she’s still there for me.
SHE is the ultimate friend.
On the other hand, you have the girlfriends who will manipulate, lie, cheat, steal, and ultimately try to ruin your life. (I’ve come in contact with a few of these girls, too.)
Or the friends who only want to talk about themselves.
Or the friends who aren’t really friends in the first place but have some advantage to having you in their life.
Truth is, females should uplift each other instead of trying to knock each other down. But what should you look for in a friend so that you don’t get mixed up with the “mean girl”?
Here’s what I’ve learned to look for:
- The conversation goes both ways.
- You both bend over backwards for each other.
- They are happy for your happiness and sad for your sadness.
- Honesty. There is nothing better than someone who can call you out in such a way that you can’t be mad at them.
- Not judgmental. (Lord knows this is a big one for me.) Give advice without judging.
- The ability to listen. Being a female means sometimes needing to vent.
- Loyal. You shouldn’t have to ask them to not be friends with your ex. (It’s an unwritten rule.)
- Encouragement. Everyone needs their own personal cheerleader.
- Together you are a team to be reckoned with.
- They make you laugh like you have never laughed before.
- Together you look like a small gang.
I can’t tell you how many times my best friend and I have been in public having more fun than we should just walking the aisles of the grocery store. The way you can give a look and she knows the exact thought in my mind. Sometimes, it’s a nonverbal sigh and she knows. She knows when I’ve had too many drinks. She just knows.
Everyday I’m thankful to be able to call this girl my BFFL.
Do you have anything else to add to my list of qualities? Or a story you would like to share? Email me at AdventuresInMy30s@gmail.com
Cheers to bestest friends in the whole wide world!