There was something about him….

Timing

There was something about him….

There was something about his smile.

There was something about his eyes.

There was something about his tone of voice.

There was something about his confidence.

There was something about his style.

There was something about the way he wore his stupid Washington hat.

There was something about the way he looked at me.

There was something about the way he looked at life.

There was something about how much he loved his career.

There was something about the way he loved his dog.

There was something about the way his dog loved him.

There was something about his drive.

There was something about the way he held me.

There was something about the way he touched me.

There was something about the way his touch was felt deep in my heart.

There was something about him.

There was something about the way he told me he wasn’t ready.

There was something about a 14 hour road trip with him.

There will always be something about him.

Something I have to let go.

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To My Little Sister

Little Sister

To my little sister:

What are big sisters for?  To steal clothes from.  To get advice about boys.  To learn the ropes of life.

Being that there is such an age gap between us, I now have the ability to give you the advice that I should have taken 15 years ago.  My life would have been drastically different if I knew these lessons back then.

Don’t follow in my footsteps.  Learn from my mistakes.

Here goes…

  1. GO TO COLLEGE! No one can ever take away your education.  You will always have it to fall back on, just in case.
  2. Go to college right after high school. Taking a break from college made it that much harder when I finally decided to go back.
  3. Don’t date the jerk. If he doesn’t freely give you his time, he’s not worth yours.
  4. Don’t rush relationships. You have the rest of your life, no need to hurry now.
  5. Find your passion early. Find it and focus on it.
  6. Be kind to everyone. Sometimes life isn’t about what you know but who you know.
  7. Actions speak louder than words. Confused about a situation?  Step back and watch.  That will tell you everything.
  8. Your parents don’t hate you. They love you that’s why they push you.  They see your potential.
  9. Start saving your money.   Anything.  It will add up.
  10. The “cool crowd” sometimes isn’t going very far in life. Unless you consider the state penitentiary “far”.
  11. Figure out what kind of life you want for yourself and only hang out with people who have the same vision. Want to travel?  Want a new Coach bag every season?  Hang out with the people who are going places in life, not with the people who can bring you down.  They can and they will.
  12. Watch out for mean girls. See my post on what to look for in a best friend.
  13. Don’t tell your secrets to just anyone. Some people want to see you fail.
  14. Good eyebrows are important. Seriously.

Every day I learn more and more.

This crazy journey I have been on for 30 years has taught me a lot.  Although it seems like only in the past year has most of this stuff clicked.

I’ve been through many struggles in life.  Somehow I have managed to claw my way back out every time.

Don’t follow in my footsteps.  Use me as an example of what NOT to do.

If you take anything away from this, don’t date the jerk! There will be many smooth talkers.  Let them talk.

Just remember every decision has a consequence.

Love you to pieces!

And when you’re old enough, we will cheers to this crazy journey called life!

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11 Things to Look for in a Best Friend

best friends

What does friendship even mean, let alone true friendship?

Over the years I’ve had many friends.  Some of them were around for a very short period of time, some on and off and a very few that have been in it for the long haul.

Growing up it was hard for me to find “good girlfriends”.  They were either just nice to my face, in it for their own gain of some sort, or some weird, creepy SWF type.

What I’m about to share with you is my experience with friends and what it means to be, or have a true friend.

Let me start with my first friend, ever.  We met in 1989.  I’ll never forget that day.

She walked into Kindergarten with her fresh perm (yes, her mother gave her a perm for Kindergarten) and her pink and purple outfit.  She thought I was cool and I thought she was cooler with her perm!  (Not many Kindergartners are allowed to perm their hair).  We were instant friends.

Sure we’ve had our ups and downs over the years, but ultimately what matters is we’re still best friends.

I love this girl as if she was my blood sister.  (We’re actually closer than my own blood line.)

She’s the type to never leave me hanging.  I tell her a problem, she immediately tries to solve it even though sometimes I just want to vent.

She’s so understanding of my flaws and patient as the day is long.  I freaking love this girl.

She’s seen me at my best, worst, drunkest, and sickest moments yet she’s still there for me.

SHE is the ultimate friend.

On the other hand, you have the girlfriends who will manipulate, lie, cheat, steal, and ultimately try to ruin your life. (I’ve come in contact with a few of these girls, too.)

Or the friends who only want to talk about themselves.

Or the friends who aren’t really friends in the first place but have some advantage to having you in their life.

Truth is, females should uplift each other instead of trying to knock each other down.  But what should you look for in a friend so that you don’t get mixed up with the “mean girl”?

Here’s what I’ve learned to look for:

  • The conversation goes both ways.
  • You both bend over backwards for each other.
  • They are happy for your happiness and sad for your sadness.
  • Honesty.  There is nothing better than someone who can call you out in such a way that you can’t be mad at them.
  • Not judgmental.  (Lord knows this is a big one for me.)  Give advice without judging.
  • The ability to listen.  Being a female means sometimes needing to vent.
  • Loyal.  You shouldn’t have to ask them to not be friends with your ex.  (It’s an unwritten rule.)
  • Encouragement.  Everyone needs their own personal cheerleader.
  • Together you are a team to be reckoned with.
  • They make you laugh like you have never laughed before.
  • Together you look like a small gang.

I can’t tell you how many times my best friend and I have been in public having more fun than we should just walking the aisles of the grocery store.  The way you can give a look and she knows the exact thought in my mind.  Sometimes, it’s a nonverbal sigh and she knows.  She knows when I’ve had too many drinks.  She just knows.

Everyday I’m thankful to be able to call this girl my BFFL.

Do you have anything else to add to my list of qualities?  Or a story you would like to share?  Email me at AdventuresInMy30s@gmail.com

Cheers to bestest friends in the whole wide world!

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Mindset

The-mind-is-its-own

Mindset is everything.  Your thoughts control how you feel about a situation.

Whether it’s in your personal life or professional life, your mindset has a huge impact on how we grow as individuals.

Instead of thinking “I can’t do this” change that to “What am I missing?”

Instead of thinking “This is too hard” change that to “This will just take more time and effort”.

Instead of thinking about all of the things wrong in your life, remember all of the good things going on.

Instead of getting hung up on not knowing something, be thankful for the opportunity to learn something new.

There is always a bright side.  A silver lining.  Find it.  Focus on it.  Be thankful for it.

One of my biggest pet peeves is the phrase FML.  No, not FML.  Your life is great!  You’re just looking at it all wrong.  So you got a flat tire, which is totally fixable.  A bad day does not mean a bad life.

You cannot control the things that happen to you, you can only control how you react to it.

Cultivating negative thoughts and emotions will only result in sadness and anger.  Instead, react with a positive attitude and watch how your whole life changes.

Everyone has bad days.  But, it’s what you focus on that makes the difference in a bad day or a bad life.

Your choice.

For me, I choose happiness.  I choose looking on the bright side.  I choose to not dwell on things I can’t control.

Cheers to a positive life!

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What I learned from my hobo weekend in Key West

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It’s a beautifully sunny Friday afternoon in Tampa Bay.  What to do with my weekend?  Let’s get in the car and head to Key West.  Why not?

With one extra shirt and one extra pair of panties, we head south.  We being me and my guy friend who’s free spirited tendencies are rubbing off on me.

After a couple of stops on the way at the Skyway Bridge fishing pier, Naples, and Miami Beach we arrive in Key West 12 hours later.  (It’s usually a 7 hour drive)

Beyond exhausted, we pull over and crash in the truck at a closed dentist office just off Duval St.

I’ve never slept in a car before so this is completely new to me.

My friend passes out almost immediately and I toss and turn and try to contort my body into any sort of comfortable position.  As soon as I get to sleep, it starts.

Not sure if you‘ve ever been to Key West but they have stray roosters.  And these roosters have no concept of time, AT ALL.  I can tell you I did not sleep that night.  Between the intoxicated people screaming obscenities at each other and the roosters there was no way I could pass out.

7 a.m. finally comes around.  With no sleep and no shower, we start off on our day with a breakfast beer.  After all, we’re on vacation.

Day drinking in sunny Key West.  What could be better?

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This is what I learned that weekend:

  • Everyone has a story. And usually they’re pretty amazing.
  • Don’t judge a book by its cover.
  • Good company matters more than a good location (even though it was beautiful down there).
  • Waking up literally on the beach is one of the most beautiful ways to start your day.
  • If you’re tired enough you can sleep anywhere.
  • When you think you’re mad at someone, just wait an hour before reacting to see if it really matters.
  • Pepto-Bismol is wonderful.

We literally had nothing.  We walked the streets of Key West for a total of 12.5 miles that day.  I was so tired I didn’t think I could go on much longer.  Somehow we did.

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Even though we scraped up gas money to get home and had a tire blow out while mid arch of the Skyway Bridge, I can honestly tell you this is one of those adventures I will never forget.

The people you meet are amazing.  From the guy sitting in a tee-pee telling people he is delivering a message of ‘love and let live’ to the gentlemen playing a broom because 3 strings on his guitar broke, these people were fascinating.  To the normal eye, they appear to be unorthodox and “weird”.  They were not.  They were more interesting to talk to rather than the rich captain who sails into the keys for the winter months.

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I’m grateful to have the opportunity to run away on these adventures.  Life is meant to be lived.

Cheers to living life!

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P.S.

All photos in this post were from my journey.

How to be happy and single

Being Single

I’ve never been one to get hung up on a relationship status.  I’m single.  And the best part is, I’m ok with that.

Well, today I found a brilliant article on the greatness of being single and not settling.

Laura Jane Williams from ThoughCatalog.com writes a letter to all the singles out there.  She points out “Single doesn’t mean less-than.  Single means whole”.  I love this.  I am whole by myself.  I will not be broken again.  The only thing I will be is improved.

The best thing about being improved is I can improve myself by myself or I can allow someone to enter my life who will only improve it.  Again, this is perfect.

“You’ll know how to fill the spaces in your togetherness because you learned to be comfortable with your aloneness” Laura explains when they enter your life.  Being able to be comfortable by myself wasn’t always the case.  I now treasure my time alone.  It allows me time to reflect and dig deep into what I want.  It truly is a gratifying time.

“You were always going to go a little bit longer, a little bit further, alone, without them, in order to be ready for the love coming your way.”  I have to say I believe this with my whole heart.  My journey is meant to go it alone for a little while longer than most in order for me to be the best partner I can be.

“Make sure the universe knows that you’re doing your best to become the person you need to be. For them. For yourself. For the love that will be your life.”  This chick is so right on! The universe is a mysterious place.  Let it be known I am not closed off to love, but waiting for that one.  And then, only then will it all make sense.

Laura Jane Williams, I salute you for writing such a beautiful and uplifting article.  It reminds me that my journey is ok alone for now.  Maybe I’m a hopeless romantic, but I believe in love.  I will wait for the one.

Check out Laura’s article here and follow ThoughtCatalog.com for more awesomely uplifting articles.

Cheers to 2015!

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Photo from www.hplyrikz.com

Why I won’t set Goals in 2015

Beginning

You think I’m crazy, don’t you? Well, you aren’t too far off, but that’s beside the point.

As another new year approaches I can’t help but reflect. (First of all, let me just give a little thanks that I am able to see another year)

The resolutions and goals I made for myself at the beginning of 2014 were a flop. Needless to say, they were forgotten by February. I don’t want that to happen again this upcoming year.

Being that I am now in a new decade of my life, I figured I would change things up this New Year.

I never seem to accomplish the goals I set out for myself, so I settled on making life changes instead.

Life changes sounds so scary!

No, these aren’t HUGE life changes. They are little pushes towards the person I want to become.

Check ‘em out:

Schedule out my time. I’m so bad at getting lost on Pinterest. Or worse, going from website to website and forgetting what I went there for but now I know how to speak to a Giraffe *rolls eyes*.  If I can force myself to sit down every Sunday and plan out my week, I can hold myself accountable for the time I spend on day to day tasks.

Make healthier eating choices. In 2014 I tried to be as skinny as I was in my 20’s (I’m just shy of my 31st birthday so I’m not that far off), however I have now come to the realization that will NEVER happen. Being skinny is not always healthy. In 2015 I will strive to be a healthy weight for my height and feel comfortable in my own skin. I don’t think I will ever be a body builder, but I also don’t want to be on the other end of that spectrum (mainly for longevity purposes).

Be selective with relationships. No, not just romantic relationships. I’ve noticed recently the people I have been surrounding myself with have no drive, no ambition, and no future. That is not what I want for my future. Ever heard the phrase “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with” by Jim Rohn? It is so very true. Sure, I like to go out. But I don’t like feeling like I’m dying a slow death the next day (I clearly don’t recover like I used to in my 20’s). With that being said, my 5 people will change in 2015.

Think more positively. The power of thought is HUGE! Sure we all get down every now and again, but it’s how you pull yourself out of the down that builds character. Concentrating on what is good in your life will prevent some of those downs. A gratitude journal may be helpful here.

I’m not saying 2015 is going to be a complete turnaround for me. What I am saying is 2015 will be the starting point in which I changed my life for the better.

What are some of your life changes/goals/resolutions for 2015?

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Missing the country

Country

Do you ever just have the urge to run away from the hustle and bustle of the city?  I do.

I lived in the middle of Nowhere, SC for seven months last year.  At the end of my stint, I couldn’t wait to get back home where I was near four Publix grocery stores within five square miles.

Fast forward six more months and I can’t wait to get back there.  I can’t wait to sit in a white rocking chair on the porch of an all white Southern plantation home while staring at the corn field across the street.  (With a glass of wine in hand, of course)

I can’t wait to eat back straps and fresh deer meat.  I can’t wait for dirt roads and rows of planted pines.

I’m yearning for the fresh air and swamp buggy rides.  Oh, and fresh farm eggs!

I’ve always been a city girl but every now and then I want space.  I never thought I would miss it but I do.  I just miss the opportunity to just be still in this crazy world we live in.

So, tomorrow I leave for a couple of days in the country and I can’t get out of town fast enough.  (I’ve been packed for 2 days already)

Cheers to Southern living!

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How many times have you used LOL today?

LOL

What did we do before LOL became such a standard in our language?  My 60 year old Dad texts me “LOL”!  I have to admit, it’s kind of strange, but then again that’s where I get my sense of humor so it’s understandable.

How many times have you text someone LOL and never cracked a smile?  It’s more like SALTS (smiled a little then stopped).  Right?!?

Why is that?  Personally I believe laughter is the best medicine.

Having a bad day?  Go search out some funny eCards (I love eCards) or YouTube videos.

I like to find the humor in as many things as I possibly can.  Sure life can suck sometimes but if you look for that one thing that is funny in the situation, it can change your whole outlook on it.

Here’s my go-to YouTube video.

And here’s my LOL Pinterest board.

Disclaimer:  Yes, serious life events happen that are awful and horrible and there is NO humor in them.  These are not the events I am referring to.

Cheers!

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To Date or Not to Date

Single

The dating world sucks.  And it doesn’t help when your family keeps asking if you met anyone decent yet.  No.  The answer is no.  Is it really worth the search?

I’ve met guys in school, at work, in stores, in bars, and online.

And.  I’m.  Still.  Single.

What does that tell you?

I think I’ve met every kind of unavailable man there is over the years.  The ones who can’t get away from their mother for 10 minutes to the one who has a double life in another state (he was the most recent).

Why are we constantly pressured to find “The One”?  I’m starting to think “The One” is hanging out with the Loch ness monster and unicorns all day making glitter.  It’s cool.  I’m sure he’ll have some bomb ass stories when he shows up.

Truth is, I believe love should be nothing but extraordinary.  I refuse to settle for mediocre.  I (as well as everyone) deserves mad, crazy, passionate love.

So, in the mean time I will continue to build my empire.  And hang out with my cats. 🙂

Cheers to my future empire!

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